Over the years my
focus has shifted from downhill to more trail/ enduro riding, Where
as once I looked forward to conquering that next jump, drop or bigger
feature and enjoyed that feeling of your heart pumping and the gut
wrenching feeling of fear, the feeling has been replaced by a feeling
of stress, frustration and anger as my tolerance to that feeling wore
out, and I hit a plateau in my technical ability.
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| Back when racing the Local downhill series was the main focus |
How has this come
about I often ask myself? I doubt very much I couldn't do the larger
features demanded of downhill, I know full well that my body could,
when I accidentally come up to a bigger jump/drop on a blind trail my
instincts take over and ill pull it off no issues at all as my muscle
memory takes over and for that moment there is no room for fear as
you have to do what's required.
It really is all in
the mind that the barriers come up, Its very difficult to over come
the emotional fear and anxiety for ever and eventually becomes
tiring, alongside this riding should be fun, enjoyable, an escape
from all that's stressful in your ordinary life.
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| Exploring the beautiful place we live in search of single track and escaping ordinary life with friends |
Not only are the
barriers based on pure fear not too many years ago I was so
confident, I had trained so hard for Ard enduro, raced it, loved it,
had the best summer of riding, loved the bike I was on and was
ridding fast, hard and jumping with confidence, then one day
practising for a race I came off on a jump and hit my head, I thought
that's OK I'm having too much fun I’ll do anther run and everything
will be fine. It was an amazing run I nailed all the jumps and was so
smooth and fast and elated and then had the dumbest crash on the end
fire road and hit my head again, by the time I got to the van I
couldn’t see properly, hear properly or even use my phone, at no
point had I blacked out but I had rattled my brain hard and over the
next 2 days things got worse and by Monday I couldn't stay awake,
walking down the stairs was exhausting to concentrate on, finding my
way to tesco’s in my home town was like walking round a foreign
country. After 10 days thing were OK and I was back to work but it
took a few months to fully recover. Seeing the effects of concussion
on riders like Lorraine Truong and katy Curd has made me so aware of
how lucky we are to recover from each concussion but they are
cumulative so it’s with good reason the my brain wants to stop me
doing dangerous things!
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| A significant photo for me from the weekend I had the crash that gave me the concussion |
At this point riding
is engrained into my life and I will never been one of those people
who rides really hard and then quits the sport and looses interest,
I’m hear to stay, but where does that leave me, we all want to
progress all the time, on social media we see everyone doing such
impressive jumps, pushing themselves but for the average person who
loves bikes its a lifestyle that doesn't have to include racing or
being the best. We all share those fears too, most weekend warriors
probably feel the same, sometimes I think this makes me inadequate
but then I have the best time when I push my body hard up that climb,
ride an amazing flowy bit of single track and see that view and think
my god this is what it’s all about, not that other stuff. This is
what makes people good ambassadors of the sport and this is what I
would like to share, its OK to be your best and the have the funest
time and allow riding to enhance your life so you can escape the
every day on your own terms.
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| Happy days spending time with the local girls on a Southern Ladies MTB ride |
Not to say I wont be
racing, I enjoy it and for as long as I’m not holding anyone up I
will continue to race but on my own terms even if the achievement is
finishing or seeing everyone and riding a trail that's usually out of
bounds.
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